Rejected

Well, it finally happened. Despite my best efforts to appear interesting, when head honcho Oncologist returned and saw me last Friday he was clearly so bored of me that he said since I seemed to have coped ok with the first Docetaxel I probably would with the others so he does not want to see me every three weeks anymore. I feel mortified and rejected.

However as it turns out, seems he still wishes to retain a foothold in my life as he subsequently sent me a letter giving me an appointment for November. Hmmm, mind games, eh?

I also totally accidentally hit on a fabulous reverse psychology tactic. Now I am telling you this in confidence and don't just use it willy nilly on every Consultant you may meet. It may turn out to be overkill, or inappropriate to the situation and it won't always work. It is like the bazooka of tactics.

What happened was, he casually asked me whether we had talked about removal of ovaries. I said no we hadn't but that I did want it done. Along with removal of womb and anything else remotely connected with the devil tumour driver, oestrogen. I then very politely said "but of course I'm not sure if I fit the criteria for that". Well. He scoffed at the mere mention of criteria and came over all powerful and impressive and "if I say it shall be done, then it shall be done". So fingers crossed the bank of daddy won't have to end up funding that after all.

We're waiting for the results of my genetic testing first before we talk more about that.

So what else has been occurring apart from my doctor sacking me?

Went for pre chemo blood test yesterday. Noticed today that the nurse has the honour of being the first one ever to bruise the skin over my port. No idea how that happened. Thought that only occurred when looking for a vein.

Fifth chemo tomorrow. On a steroid hyper today after taking the 16mg dexamethasone pre-drug (like pre-drinks but not nearly as fun).

Have also had A COUGH. With all the drama about possible neutropenic sepsis - where you get an infection whilst white blood cells are low - I had kind of forgotten that not every single viral illness will require hospital admission. Have been checking my temperature and keeping an eye on things and we will see whether it goes away on its own.

Finally, I am being referred back to my breast surgeon who wants to hack away at my armpit next. Oncologist said this surgery could not take place until late October once my white blood cells replenish after final chemo. I am now very worried that my surgeon might just book me in before I have had a chance to tell him it needs to be after my birthday drinks on 2nd November. I'm sure he will see me to get a Consent Form signed (at least, I don't remember signing one for this yet!!) and I can sound him out about a date then. Now before you write me off as the sort of pleb who thinks the NHS schedule revolves around them, I'm not. I don't plan many important things in advance so I am hoping that if I do end up having to mention this to him, he takes it the right way and schedules my armpit in accordingly...